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I'm home from Arkansas/Oklahoma! And home today from work because I'm sick :(
We cancelled cable and laying on the couch watching TV would be my ideal way to pass the time. So instead I decided to catch up on my blog (as though anyone has been waiting on pins and needles to read it).
So I'm sure you have seen by my facebook status updates that Chuck and I are in the market for a house in Rogers AR. We found one we liked over our Christmas vacation and put on offer on it. I'll keep you posted on that...
If you didnt get a Christmas card from us this year let me know your address and I will send you one next year. But for those of you who didnt get one, here it is:



We had a lot of fun making that one!

Otherwise not a whole lot going on here. We are trying to figure out when I will be stopping work, but the contingent plans are for me to work through either February or March, and we will move around April 15th. But everything is still up in the air.
I will hopefully be posting some more pics of the kids from the holidays soon, so stay tuned...tuned?

Gracie's birthday party

So if you read my last post you know that I was out of town for my daughter's birthday. She turned two on November 6th. She didnt go without a party on her birthday though. She got to spend it with Granny and Papa in Oklahoma. I still felt awful when I got back - you cant skip your own child's birthday, even if they wont remember it. So the next Saturday we threw our own party for Gracie. We went to Texas Roadhouse (my favorite restaurant and conveniently the kids' favorite too!) She got to sit on the saddle while everyone gave her a Texas Roadhouse "yeehaw!" She loved it! She has plenty of experience with that sort of thing since she has been riding the rocking horse her Papa made since she was 9 months old (no joke she would climb up on it herself and hold on and rock!!) After dinner we came home and I pulled out the birthday cake I made for her - my family's birthday cakes always have to be homemade (my definition of homemade right now is from a box - I mixed it and put it in the oven). We all put on our party hats...Gracie insisted "pody hat pody hat" as she chased our heads with them. We sang happy birthday and she blew out the candles...and no, she did not touch them this time! Then she got to play with her birthday present - a new kitchen! Now she and Jonathan can make the cakes!

Over so soon?

My trip to Florida. Being the bad parent that I am (I dont try to pretend that I'm not anymore) I took off with my hubby to a Podiatry Conference (yay...) in sunny Florida (YAY!) and left the kids with my folks (YAY again!!!) over my daughter's second birthday..(oh.).
Let me just say...I am sooo glad I did. We had so much fun. The hospital was paying for most of it, so we went all out on some things. And I dont feel guilty at all. Chuck is chief resident this year which means that he gets to put up with a lot of crap, spend all evening making phone calls, and pay extra for his phone bills - and he gets paid no more than the other 3rd year resident. So, he (we) deserves it!
We stayed at the Sanibel Island Resort and Spa. I took advantage of the spa the second day I was there and got a wonderful massage and a haircut (just a trim really, nothing drastic) and I got to spend time in the sauna and steam room. Ahh...I can still smell the cedar. Unfortunately Chuck had to spend his day in a lecture. While Chuck was at his lectures though, it was bliss for me...relaxing by the pool with my drink of choice...a Sanibel Sunburn (fruity rum drink) reading Nicholas Sparks' "The Lucky One." Lucky me. When Chuck was done all he wanted to do was find a way to drive the rental car - a convertible Volvo. We spent one afternoon on Sanibel Island at a bird refuge (who's idea was that?) and another day kayaking in the gulf through a little swamp. Yay. And we watched the sun set at the beach every night. And the dinners...they were great - steaks, sushi, fish - yum! So much fun.
On Saturday we went to Fort Myers beach and saw a sand sculpting contest. Among the entries was a man from St. Louis. I dont know who won, but they were all amazing. On Sunday we returned to the Island to buy some souvenirs for the kids before making it back for our flight.
It was heavenly. I did miss my kids, but it was sooo nice to get away. I only felt guilty about twice a day, but they were short-lived bouts. Cant wait to do it again!
See more pics on flickr and facebook.
And yes, there will be a post shortly about Gracie's b-day - I'm not all bad.

Bye Bye Hump Day

My sweet hubby surprised me at work yesterday (Wednesday) with these beauties in celebration of my last Wednesday at work. Next week is my first week back to part-time. YAY! I'm wiped out! :)

I Love You!

I remember the first time Chuck said it to me. Actually he didnt say it. We were sitting in my dorm room with about four other friends. I was seated on my roommate's bed and he was sitting on the floor below me with a notepad doing homework or studying. We were enjoying the company of our friends - laughing, joking, having fun...ya know - studying. He was jotting down notes and every now and then would poke me with his pencil so I would look down at his notebook to see something funny that he had written. One time, however, instead of a funny remark, he had written the words, "I love you Kim." It was such a sweet feeling. When it was time for him to leave we went outside and said the words to each other. I'll never forget it.
And just as clearly, I remember the first time Jonathan told me those words. It was when we had first moved into the townhouse - he was 2. I had tucked him in and went to the door to leave. I turned around, as I did every night and said, "I love you Jonathan." I always waited for a response, but up until then had never gotten one, just a nod and smile. But that night, he said "I wuv you." It made me melt.

Again, I had the joy of hearing these words spoken to me for the first time by someone sooo special to me. She brings so much joy to my life! People tell me she is just like me...I hope they're right, and I hope they're not. As I'm sure all moms of daughters do, I dream that we will always be best friends no matter what. She is so independent, yet loving and caring. She loves to play with her dolls and kiss her figurines. I start to sing to her and she shakes her head and gives me that serious look as she says in her less than 2 year old dialect, "stop." She climbs on the big kid toys at the park - better than the big kids do. She pulls jewelry out of my armoire and piles it on herself. Says "I do it" - and does it! She still likes her milk warm.
Every now and then, and even more so lately, Chuck has been able to take the kids to daycare on his way to work. We usually leave for work right about the same time. This was one of those mornings - and I was on my way out the door first. I turned over my shoulder and said to the kids, "Bye, I love you" and just as I was turning to leave, little Gracie said as clear as day "I love you Mommy!"
These simple little words...

Jon the writer

My boy
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

Jonathan is now a writer! He wrote j's - lots of them! And o's and T's too. He wrote the word JOT . It's a start! Jonathan is a long name to spell. If he can learn to write the N I suppose I would be fine with calling him Jon for awhile.

Couples

Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

I've been doing couple pics for my friends lately trying to prepare for a wedding coming up. I need to get used to posing couples, making them act natural and laugh. This picture is of a friend at work and her boyfriend. I just love her - she is the sweetest - and makes my day brighter since I sit by her at work. There were lots of great pictures from this session in downtown St Charles, but this has to be my favorite. I think it shows the essence of their relationship. I can't wait to do more of these - they are so much fun. If anyone out there wants or knows someone who wants me to do couple pictures *gratis* for my portfolio (will be under engagements) let me know!
FYI I am thinking about creating a second blog for Sweet Portrayal so that I dont keep leaving out my kids in my posts (the few there are). That's just one more thing to keep up with though - a second blog. BTW if you havent already please become a fan of Sweet Portrayal on Facebook!

Finally got a babysitter!

Finally got a babysitter!
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

Last night I convinced Chuck to spend the first part of our date taking pictures of us since we really don't have any since our wedding eight years ago! We had so much fun! I set up the tripod and we used the remote. I'd like to do it again sometime but it may be another eight years before I can convince Chuck :(
After that we went to Spiro's, a Greek restaurant of course, nearby. We had an appetizer and some Baklava - my favorite! Then we went and saw The Hangover. It was hilarious. A little raunchy, but hilarious.
See more pics at flickr or facebook.

A Zoo Day

Arts and Crafts.

Three of 'em!
Last Thursday and Friday I had an excuse to stay home with the kiddos! My babysitter was on vacation. She will be next week too, but I couldnt get it off (hmmf!) but a friend at work has a daughter home from college that will be watching them at my house - yay!
So, while we were home I got to try out a craft that I found in a magazine. Here are some pics, you can figure it out.
Why did I need a magazine article to discover this cute little project? I think I had more fun with it than Jonathan did though. I did most of it, though I let him think he did. I have always been bad at letting children do their own projects. I think the end result should look like it does in the magazine. Bad Mama! Actually I think this project may have been a little old for him. Probably best for a 6 or 7 year old...or 28 year old.
The second project, however, he did complete. And I am sooo proud of him. I asked him to draw a picture of him and Daddy for Father's day. He really delivered. It is amazing how it seems like just last week he would draw a line or a circle and say that was a person (no eyes, nose, arms, legs, nothing). As you can see here, though, Daddy has eyes, nose, mouth, and even ears. Big deal to me. In my kindergarten entrance exam I forgot to add ears to the man I was told to draw. I got docked for it. Anyway, not only is there a whole face, but he made sure Daddy had clothes - complete with buttons! And he made a TALL Jonathan. Not quite sure why his head is in two parts - he does have a double crown in real life.

And the last project (so far) for the weekend...
A photo prop. I went yard-sailing this morning and found two old wooden chairs. One for $2 and one for $3. I had a hard time choosing a color for the $2 one but finally decided on Ocean Blue. Jonathan loved it and offered to "model" for me to test it out. He was so excited he didnt even let me move it off the cardboard before he jumped up and started posing. Isn't his expression so cute in this?

I have two photo sessions next weekend: One with a single mom with two small children (that's what I got the chair for), and the other is a mainly indoor maternity session. I got a new strobe for lighting and am having a hard time finding the time to get the lighting nailed for the session. Hopefully I'll get it down before my subject gets here on Saturday! Watch for flickr posts next weekend!

My little Razorbacks at play

My little Razorbacks at play
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

Chuck went to Arkansas last weekend to take his Arkansas Boards exam and meet with some podiatrists wanting to hire in Little Rock (yeck!) and another in Fayetteville that wants to sell his practice in Siloam Springs (meh!). He brought back razorback snouts for the kids and they just loved them and I loved getting some fun pics of them. Why cant they sit together and be so cute without a snout on!!?

finally!

melt-a-mommy
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

i got her to look up! and boy am i glad i did. look at those eyes!

I'm a gardener!

Well, not really. We don't own our house, so I cant exactly uproot the bushes to plant a garden (not that I would have the time), but I did buy a few plants to pot. I got two cherry-type tomato plants and Chuck bought me two chili pepper plants. I potted them and have been carefully watering them daily and guarding them from the kids. They have really grown fast and...lo and behold...I counted TEN little green tomatoes on the tomato plants today and saw two tiny peppers on the pepper plants! I am soooo excited. Given, after buying the plants, the soil and the watering can (the pots were already here at the house) they have become a little economically unwise. What can I say - they better be good tomatoes! Hopefully the bunnies that hop around the yard most days dont end up eating them out from under me!! We'll be able to enjoy a nice salad or two, or three.


Oh, and I included a picture of the place we recently moved to. Much better than the old place. My advice...if you have kids...dont do a townhouse.



And this last way-too-close up picture is of me with my "new" haircut. I hated it the first day, was okay with it the following week, and since then it has grown into a little unmanageable mess. But...it could be worse!

Valedictorian

Two weekends ago now, I got to go see my oldest niece, Emily, graduate from high school. As she was a valedictorian of her class, she got to give a speech. Of the five speeches given by the valedictorians hers was by far the best! I was sure that my sister had helped her, but no, the graduation was the first time she'd even heard it! Graciously, my beautiful, smart, funny niece gave me the transcript to post on my blog:


On the box of the board game The Game of Life, it reads, "Where will your choices take you? You made it through high school, now what's next?" According to the instructions the object of the game is to "travel the path of LIFE making decisions, building a family, earning money (and paying some too), buying homes, and collecting LIFE TILES."
The first decision is made right at the beginning of the game: College or Career? By now most of us have already made that decision and found that the choices are many.
Once we decide what path to take, we spin the wheel and move our number of spaces. Some of us get high numbers like 8, 9, or 10, and move quickly. Some of us get the lower numbers such as 3, 2, or the sometimes dreaded 1. But we take what we get, move the spaces, and read what the space says, hoping that it is good news. Sometimes it is! We may collect money for something like writing a Best Seller! But sometimes we land on a "bad" square and have to pay fees for a surgery.
Those little yellow squares can bring joy with a "NEW BABY" or the can bring grief with the two words: "LOSE JOB." Sometimes we land on them and sometimes we don't.
During our jounrey, we often come to stop signs, and even though we may still have moves left these stop signs represent times in our life that we will have to make important decisions, and we must stop. We may be choosing our career, getting married, or buying a home, al the while collecting LIFE TILES.
LIFE TILES are what I consider the most important part of the game. The game instructions tell us that LIFE TILES are "all about family activities, community service, and good deeds." The way I like to describe them is by calling them the "memorable moments." We have already collected some from high school, and most of us may be collecting one right now. Just like in the game, we never know the true value of these moments until we look back on them years later.
So, here we are, at the beginning of the game. We are about to start a great journey. On these crazy, winding roads I wish you, the Class of 2009, the best of luck. I pray that God is with you, on the good spaces and the not so good spaces, and that He guides your choices at every stop sign you come to. Remember that the most valuable part of this wonderful Game of Life is not the speed that we move but the memories we make at every turn.

Ah...that's my Emmy!
We were all soooo proud of her!

Congratulations Emily!!

A hard decision

It really is for the best. I almost cry writing this though. However, I do feel like part of the reason I cry is because I can imagine that just about everyone I know will think that it was the wrong decision and that I am a bad mother. But then I tell myself that I have to stop worrying so much about what other people think.
Here it is:
I'm going back to full-time.
Chuck and I have been considering it for a while now but I never could make the decision to do it. I wanted to at least wait until summer was over. Unfortunately that wasnt up to me. Last Friday my boss came up to me and told me to let her know within the next 5 minutes whether I wanted full time. Literally. You see, the budget gets passed by Congress and then the money is carefully dispersed and trickled all the way down the pipelines to our office. The decisions are trickled down too. So in some place far far away they decide to offer full-time to part-time employees in certain districts. Generally, all those employees want full-time. But they have to take it right then and there or it gets passed on to another district, or piled up to create a whole new position. They only offer the choice every so often, when they have money. So I had to take it now or never.
And here's why I chose to take it:
Reason #1: I love having my Wednesday's with the kids. I can relax a little bit too. The problem is, one day in the middle of the week doesn't do much for routine. Sometimes we go to the park, sometimes we go play with friends, sometimes Daddy is home too, sometimes we watch too much TV, sometimes we make a craft (okay, not that often because I'm just too busy to plan it), sometimes we go grocery shopping, sometimes we do nothing while Mommy cleans all day. I haven't been able to establish anything concrete (besides going to the donut shop - bad!) because Wednesdays have become that catch-all day. It's like the dining room table - nothing belongs in that space, so anything and everything ends up there - and it's a mess.
Reason #2: I know it's taboo, but I have to address it. I make good money, and one day a week really adds up. If I wasn't making good money, then it would be a no-brainer - heck, I'd quit and start that photography business. I would just love to get laid off - I know that is really insensitive to say because so many people are getting laid off and it just ruins them, so I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but I am just being honest. I would love to be laid off and then I would have no excuse and no regrets. I could start my own photography business because I would HAVE to - and I would find out just how lucrative the business can be while setting my own hours and having fun. Unfortunately (for my dreams), I have to take the safe road and feel blessed to have a good job that pays the bills and provides health insurance. I also have to plan for our future when Chuck finishes his residency and we need seed money to start his business and put a down-payment on a house and start paying off his loans.
Reason #3: Even though I am going to be full-time I will still be able to spend time with the kids now. We are going to be closer to the kids daycare after we move this week which means that Chuck can actually take the kids to daycare or pick them up most days. That means I can go to work earlier and work eight and a half or nine hours a day and build up "credit hours" that I can use as vacation. I will also be building up more regular vacation pay when I am full time. In all honesty, I could easily take 2 or 3 days off a month (as opposed to the four I get working part-time)to spend with the kids.
Reason #4: Even though I am just working four days a week right now I am still given the same workload as before, except that I am not interviewing on that fifth day. Keeping up with that workload has been very stressful. I also had to mentor a trainee (which has since been changed because we lost another worker) and I was not able to get to my work. I have actually been pretty good at not taking this home with me, but when I am at work I am not happy because of the build-up of work. I don't expect this to be solved by going full-time because everyone has been overwhelmed with all of the work. With my extra day a week though, that will help our office in some ways which makes work for me as well as my coworkers more bearable.
Now, all this said, I will also say that even though it does make sense it still tears me up. And very honestly, I will say that I do fear being judged by others as being greedy or not caring about my kids enough to stay home with them - I know some people have those thoughts because I read it on their blogs, or comments on their blogs. It tears me up to think that I am doing the wrong thing by my kids and it only makes things worse when I think of other moms "sacrificing" to stay home with their kids. Believe me, it is just as much of a sacrifice for me not to stay home.
Here are what my kids get by me not staying home:
1. Routine, as I mentioned earlier
2. Social interaction - this is really important to me. I was raised in the country and my mom stayed home with me, which was great. But one thing I did lack was that social interaction - maybe why I'm not the best at it these days!
3. My children have no problems leaving me. Most of the time. But that doesnt mean they aren't super happy to see me when I come back - and they always know I'll be back.
4. They've built up quite an immune system.
5. They can see a doctor whenever they need to. I can feed them, and they have a nice place to live - very important as we have lived in some not-so-nice places (the suspected drug-dealing-3x-drive-by-shooting house in Zion IL to be exact).
6. We don't get tired of each other. Even just one day a week - those Wednesdays that I had - I would honestly be fed up with Jonathan by the end of the day. He generally would fight taking a nap and then he would be cranky the rest of the day. Again, the lack of routine made it hard to enforce a naptime. When you work full-time you cherish each moment you have with your kids - no matter how naughty they are.
I could go on, really, but I wont. All this said, I do want to say as well that if I had my choice I would be a stay-at-home mom. I think - I have never been one, so I couldn't guarantee it. But, the harsh reality is I HAVE to work - bottom line. I have been through it so many ways - what could we cut out, how could we save, this that and the other. I have to work. And while I have to work, I might as well make the best of it.

Woe is me.

I should be posting pictures from a photo session yesterday with a 3 month old and 5 year old, but that will not be happening. I went to the basement Friday night to "rehearse" for my session and practice with my new lighting. To make a long story short I never got to rehearse because the camera would not work - it wouldnt accept the memory card. Three memory cards later it is still not working. Needless to say I was unable to do the session. The really said news is it may cost up to $250 to get it fixed. The other sad news is I was actually wanting to get a new camera sometime soon but I haven't saved up enough yet. I'm hoping to be able to get the new one in about 6 weeks...which is the same amount of time it may take to get my current camera fixed. So...this possibly puts me out of commission for six weeks. :( Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Couldn't help myself.

That's why he's been acting so strange lately
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

That's why he's been acting so strange lately!

Easter dress

Easter dress
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

This little girl refused to go to sleep last night. I'm tired...she's probably napping peacefully right now.

You knew this was coming...

Bright
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

My new nephew Aidan.

Easter pics

These are some pics from Easter at my sister's house. My niece Emily, who just enrolled in college by the way, was so sweet to help the kids dye Easter eggs. Then they had an Easter egg hunt. Gracie did so well in her first hunt! Jonathan is finally getting the hang of it too. The little girl in the pics with Jonathan is my step-nephew's daughter. She and Jonathan got along so well! They aren't technically related, so I dont think it would be wrong to say that maybe when they are older...no, it still feels weird. Needless to say, a good time was had by all!

Brand-spankin new nephew

This is Aidan George - my nephew who was born April 9th at 9:24 PM - less than a day old in this picture. He weighed 7 lbs 1 oz and measured 21 inches - long for our family. And oh my - he is a sweetie!!! I got to hold him for quite awhile this afternoon until my brother finally asked "so are you driving back?" (just joking bro, haha) I am already so in love with this sweet baby! I did not, however, catch any baby bugs...my two kids are effective immunizations right now!

Another good one from my barn visit...

Boy in a barn 2
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

I'm really liking this one. Hopefully next Wednesday a friend and I are going to go back to the barn and she is going to model for me! Yay!

A friend, a barn, and a flower.

Gracie was up late last night. She was constipated! She finally fell asleep and woke up this morning with the cause of her discontent in her diaper. So, I didnt get up early this morning. I did get to the park in time though to meet my good friend Mrs. B (she's on my blog list) and her two sweet children who are about Jonathan and Gracie's age. We all enjoyed today's beautiful weather as Mrs. B and I talked and the children played. Gracie showed her true personality today as she was daring as ever to do all of the big kid stuff - to the extent of bloodying her nose. She didnt care too much - cried for about 3 minutes, after which I, and two other moms, chased her around trying to get the bleeding to stop. She took quite a few falls but hardly ever cried. She is so tough and determined. I just love her!! I love Mrs. B too. We had a good talk, though I probably talked too much!
When we were done at the park I decided to go by this old barn that I pass everyday on my way to work and think about the photographic possibilities. I dont know who owns it, but I couldnt find a no trespassing sign, so I trespassed. Gracie had already fallen asleep, so I got Jonathan out of the car and we went exploring. He was having a hard time staying close, so I didnt get all the pics I wanted, but I was able to scope the place out pretty well.

When we got back home I was reminded of the Easter lily that Chuck and Gracie picked yesterday - the same one that I had photographed earlier this morning as the kids were eating their cereal. Gracie was abnormally willing to tolerate the camera and I got a few good pics of her (I promise, she got in that basket herself...), but the flower proved to be a better model. You see it now at the top of my blog!

Though I was distracted by the flower, I was still able to get the laundry folded!

Plato schmato!

I went shopping last week for some new summer clothes for the kids at the best store ever - Once Upon a Child. I got so many nice used clothes for them - mostly name brand - and they are set. All for $91 - two kids, lots of clothes. I heard about another place for adults called Plato's Closet - an offshoot of Once Upon a Child - so I went to check it out today. I was disappointed to find that it really was a store that just started where Once Upon a Child left off - age 14! Expecting to find used office attire, instead I found Abercrombie, Old Navy, Wet Seal, Hollister, etc. Surely, I thought, the business casual is just in the back. Those are nice brands, yes - for my college self. Let's face it, I'm pushing 30!! As I pushed past hoards of teenagers (this is spring break week) I finally realized that I was in the wrong place :( Sure, there may be a gem or two in there, but much to my chagrin no New York and Company that's for sure! TJ Max, yardsales, Walmart, Target - you havent lost me yet. Yes, you too New York and Company (I have to splurge every now and then)!

Welcome spring!

Cannibal!
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

This is from my session today with a six month baby girl. I did her family's Christmas 2008 pictures and was happy to spend time with them again. She is a doll! Just as her mom had warned, she puts everything in her mouth...too cute! I got to use all of the girly props that I have been dying to try out. Have a look at flickr for some of the other things we came up with.

Soccer man

Soccer man
Originally uploaded by Sweet Portrayal

This might be my favorite from Wednesday's session...not sure. Daddy is a soccer player/fan - he's Argentine, so I think its a requirement.