WM vs. SAHM

Okay, I know, two posts in one day, Im an addict. But, I was looking at other blogs online today and saw one that brought to mind a topic that I said I would expand on later. Now, I think, is the time (it must be, both kids are unusually sleeping at 5:30 - late nap means late night!). So, I said earlier that I thought that I may have found the solution to the working-outside-the-home mom/stay-at-home mom struggle. That is, working part-time. Maybe I was wrong, Im not sure yet. By the way, I use the term stay-at-home mom instead of full-time mom because no matter where you are during the day you are still a full-time mom, unless you don't have custody I guess. And really, if you want to get technical, full-time is usually considered 40 or more hours per week, and I for one easily surpass that as a mother. I use the term working-outside-the-home-mom because all moms work - the job of a mom is work. Birdwalk, again, I know. So anyway, now is the time that I will explain the WM/SAHM never-ending struggle.
We'll start with the working mom. As a working mom, I feel a lot of pressure from SAHM's to want to be a SAHM. Many people think that I choose to work outside the home. And to be fair, I guess I do have a choice. But that choice is: stay at home and depend on my husband's income as a resident, and collect food stamps and sell a car and get rid of internet and cable and cell phones, OR, work and miss out on seeing my children live the entire first five years of their life without commercials. While I would love to do the latter, I feel that doing the former allows me to give them a more enjoyable first five years because I cherish each moment that I have with them since I dont have as many as I'd like (my mom actually pointed that out to me when I was complaining about working). Whether it is intentional or unintentional, SAHMs make me feel bad for being a WM. I feel like they think that I dont care enough about my children to stay at home with them. I feel like they think that they are better people because they do stay at home with theirs. And, I feel like a bad mom for not being able to stay at home with them - there are so many things that I want to see and do with them before they go to school. And finally, for the most part, the children of the SAHMs I know are more well-behaved than the children of the WMs I know...for the most part.
Now for the SAHMs. I do think that one day I will be one. I may have to have a couple more kids for that to happen, but, I think that I will be one. What I fear is that the view that people seem to have of SAHMs will make me feel bad for being a SAHM. Let me try to explain: when I think or talk about what I want to be when I grow up, I think, I could be a photographer, or a teacher, or a nurse, or a {fill in the blank}... or just a mom. It's that JUST that turns me off of the idea. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I fear that the view that I think that others would have of me as a SAHM would be that I am not a SAHM by choice, that is, that I couldn't be successful enough in the workforce if I wanted to, or that I haven't made anything of myself. And I know that isnt true now, but Im afraid that if I catch that vibe from people later on then I will think poorly of myself, like I know many women have.
The truth is, a great mom is the best thing that we as women can ever be. Even if a woman ends up being president of the United States (thank goodness that didnt happen this time...I mean, with the choice we had...LOL), if she wasn't a great mom, then I'm afraid that her other accomplishments didnt really mean that much. That's not to say, of course, that all women should be moms or that women that are not moms dont have any meaning. But if a woman is a mom, then she should strive to be a great one. If you aren't a great mom to your kids then who will be? My point is, there is no such thing as JUST a mom.
I guess the key is to be the best you can be at whatever you do. Right now, I'm trying to be the best Claims Representative I can be during the day, and in the evening and Wednesdays and weekends, I try to be the best mom that I can be. When Im able to stay home with the kids, I'll be the best SAHM there ever was, and it will be evident to others that it is my choice to be a SAHM. Are my children being short-changed now because Im not a SAHM? I dont think so. I think that for the time-being maybe it's best that Im not a SAHM. I do, however, think I'm being short-changed a little. But that's what happens when you're married and accidently don't use birth control! LOL (I learned recently that I must use "LOL" if I'm trying to be funny because people cant generally tell whether I am or not when I'm writing.)
*Please note that these are just some of my thoughts on the subject. I have thought about it a lot and I just dont know how best to put my thoughts into words, so I hope that I didn't offend anyone by omitting a fact or exposing too many of my thoughts or fears.